So i’ve never told anyone this partially because i thought people would think i was crazy which i may have been a little i mean i definitely was paranoid at the time. Anyways here is the story.
There was a time when I was dating someone that i got really scared that they actually didn’t like me. Instead they were working with this person i had gotten into a fight with and together they were pretty much going to ruin my life. I knew i was being irrational but i couldn’t help but think that it was all a plot and that any day I would be randomly dumped in the worst manner. I didn’t feel like this the whole time and as the relationship continued the thoughts started to leave my mind but it was always there in the corner.
Anyways that relationship ended and past. There was no secret plot no one was truly out to get me even if it might have felt like it at times.
I’m not sure why but i got reminded of that today and i felt like letting someone know. One of the reasons i’ve probably never told anyone well at least i’m pretty sure i didn’t was because i didn’t really feel like i was close enough to tell anyone at the time.
So this summer i’m going to visit Canada and Prince William and Princess Kate were going this summer too. Just found out though that i’ll still be in Tampa or in the process of driving up to New York when they’re visiting… so sad :’(
You want to know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, because no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong.
So i feel better the anger has disappeared. I’ve apologized for my actions and i hope people forgive me. But still not happy but this time its pressures from school.
I didn’t get an F on my math test like i thought i was going to get but i didn’t do great either. Lowest grade on a test ever. However the good thing is that i still have an A in the class don’t know how but its probably thanks to my really good first test grade.
Anyways now i have this monster of an EE to work on. I’m dreading it because i have no idea how to add my own voice to my essay. I feel like what i’ve written sounds like it comes from me but according to my coach they disagree… so pretty much i postponed my 2nd thousand words and now the whole essay is supposed to be due tomorrow. Which i could probably do but i don’t want to write 2,500-3,000 words that are going to end up as a 4,000 word book report on Catherine the Great. The problem is that i want to do it properly the first time but since i have no idea how to i just keep avoiding it.
I also feel like i should be practicing my writing for my IB French exam but i don’t know when i’ll have the time…… Thinking of rewriting this whole post in french. My french teacher expects me to get a 7 on the exam but my writing is going to keep me from getting there. I’m pretty sure i can get a 6 but at 7 seems so difficult i’d have to get at least 7 to 9 points more and thats seems so difficult. I would love to get a 7 but right now i’m so scared i’m going to mess up and not even get a 6. So stressed out…….